As a parent we must realize that we have one of the most awesome task given to a human from God, to pass on a Godly heritage through our children! The Bible says in Psalm 127:3 that children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward Children are not an accident or just a result of the physical union of man and woman but are rather a gift from God to us. The word heritage means gift and this verse implies that children are a gift from God and that their life originated from God. God is the giver of life! Understanding this, we are the God given stewards of our children! Therfore we will answer to God for how we raise them! In Proverbs 22:6 God commands parents to:
Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6
Who is God telling to train the child? He is not talking to the public school, he is not talking to the government or the church, but rather to the parents! As parents we must understand that we are ACCOUNTABLE to God for training our children in the ways of God. Also we must understand that we are the Gd given AUTHORITY over our children! Next, we must understand the goal of training a child. The goal is to train their heart toward God! Many parents will focus more on the behavior of the child than on the heart behind the behavior! This produces a child who may act correctly in your presence but whose behavior may change when you are not there to enforce it. This takes time and effort, but it will reap great rewards, a child whose heart is inclined to God! The AUTHORITATIVE parent is often reactiveand spends more time telling the child what not to do than what to do. This will lead a child to rebel against the rules. The PERMISSIVE parent on the other hand will let a child do whatever it wants to without rules. Their goal is for their child to be happy! Therefore, they concentrate on the relationship without rules which will also lead to rebellion. We must train our children God's way! To do this we must train their heart! This requires developing a relationship with the child while still disciplining the child to train them God's ways.
To Do This We Must Do Three Very Important Things:
1.) LOVE OUR CHILD CORRECTLY ~ We love our child correctly by understanding that love and discipline go hand in hand! If you love your child you will discipline them (Proverbs 13:24, Hebrews 12:6). In Ephesians 6:4, fathers are told to bring up their children in the nuture and admonition of the Lord. The word nurture means to chasten and the word admonition means to give warning. Therefore, we bring up a child through what we do to them (chastening) and what we say to them (admonition). To do this correctly requires that we set Biblical boundaries (rules or precepts) which if the child breaks we lovingly under control correct them. The Bible teaches us that the proper tool for correction is the rod (Proverbs 10:13, 22:15, 23:13-14). Many parents today are afraid to use the tool that God gave them to deliver their child's soul from Hell (Proverbs 23:13-14) and therefore are raising a foolish child! Certainly we do not abuse a child physically or emotionally! But proper use of the rod (switch) when a child is rebellious will drive the foolishness out of the child! If this is done at a young age, little use of the rod at a later time will be necessary. As a parent you must study the Word of God and rightly divide it to your children.
2.) YOU MUST LEAD YOUR CHILD CORRECTLY ~ God tells us to train up a child. This means we are to lead them and create a thirst for God in their lives. The first goal of every parent should be to lead their child to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Then we should train them in the way that they should go! This is not the way we have for them to go, but the way God has for them to go. Some call this a child's bent! That is they have a God given bent or direction in their life. We must assist God in leading the child along this path.
3.) YOU MUST LIVE WITH THE CHILD CORRECTLY ~ In Deuteronomy 6:6-9 the Bible teaches that we are to love the Lord with all our heart, mind and soul. We are to teach oue children the ways of God in the morning, during the day and at night. God is simply stating to us that our Christianity before our children had better be a habit and not a hobby! You cannot as a parent transfer what you do not possess yourself! You as a parent must live a life (be an example) of what you teach your child!
Rev. Sam Wood (President of FFM), recommends this book to you, as the best book on parenting from infancy to the adolescent years.
Shepherding A Child's Heart is about how to speak to the heart of your child. The things your child does and says flows from the heart. This book was written for parents with chldren of any age, this insightful book provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child's heart into the paths of life.
Rev. Sam Wood (President of FFM), recommends this book to you, as the best book on parenting Teenagers that he has ever read!
Paul Tripp uncovers the heart issues affecting parents and their teenagers during the often chaotic adolescent years. With wit, wisdom, humility, and compassion, he shows parents how to seize the countless opportunities to deepen communication, learn, and grow with their teenagers.
